THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE.... IS IT REALLY MINE?

This Little Light of Mine... is it really mine?

I care for it, I keep it alight, 

I make it shine bright to tell the world 

how wonderful it is and has been in my life. 

I hold it in my hands, 

but is this light really mine?

Do I have the right to allow it to be extinguished? 

Do I have the right to keep it hidden, keep it to myself? 

It is my prerogative, 

but is this light really mine?

When I am given it as a gift, 

when I am aware that it has come "alive" in my hands, 

when I see the sacrifice that has been made for it to be lit... 

so, is this light really mine?

(inspiration: https://youtu.be/yIQNiUEIPsE 
"The Song of the Candle" with music "Go Light Your World" by Chris Rice)

(Above was edited from the original video: https://youtu.be/oCpWbuKwlPc 

"Lightheaded" - a short film by Mike Dacko)

IN DYING THAT WE MAY LIVE

1st Sunday of Lent (A)

Fifty-one Baptism Candles surround the Baptismal Font 

and laid before the Lamb of God.

Visible signs of God's invisible Grace

At Easter, how blessed we are to witness God's promise instituted: 

forgiving all our sins and giving us eternal life by Grace alone 

because of Christ's one sacrifice finished on the cross.

#lent2017 #easter2017 #SMOTA #churchofstmaryoftheangels

AWAKENED AND STIRRED

A sad silence descended over the room, as Archbishop William Goh announced that at Confirmation Masses, he feels it is not a time for celebration but a time to bid farewell. Why? Because from that day forth, the church will say goodbye to 80% of her Confirmants since only about 20% will return as active church members. 

Deeply saddened and concerned by what Archbishop Goh said to a group of 200 Catechists at the recent launch of the Catechetical Year 2014, I felt the need to share this with fellow parents of our parish. Perhaps this message is somewhat timely for me, as I will be journeying with my own daughter who will be receiving her Confirmation this May.

I found myself drawn close to tears as he delivered those heart-wrenching lines and till today, struggle at these words when I share them in urgency with parents I meet in ministry and at the parish that was so clearly an outcry for help. Yes, help not for Archbishop Goh or for the Church, but for our children - your children.

Addressing the group of Catechists, Archbishop Goh continued to express what changes were needed within ourselves as Catechists and to take it seriously, even changes to be made in the Diocese and how critical our role as Christian examples are for the children in order to help deepen their relationship with God. Seated amongst these Catechists, there must have been many others, much like myself, called to be Catechists as well as given the grace of God to be parents. I felt a deep stirring in my soul and a sense of guilt as I heard the Catechists being given a strong mandate to check on one’s own prayer life and spiritual well-being for the sake of our children - my child.

It has been for me a privilege to be both a parent and Catechist, but to be honest every parent can share in this privilege, whether we are actively a volunteer Catechist or not, being a parent by vocation already makes us one. We are the first Catechist and the best Christian example that our children follow from birth. Think about it, if Catechists, who spend one hour or so a week with our children have been given this awakening, how much more we as parents should take heed and partner with the church in seeking out the God experience that our own child or youth will look for at different stages of their life.

Clearly this message is directed to us as parent catechists as well. We have a mission as parents – play it out well. If we want our children to live a God-centered life, we need to find out if we ourselves have shown them examples of how to live a God-centered life? Have we ourselves allowed God into the family daily or only once a week? 

Much like the lyrics to the hymn, “By the waking of our hearts by the stirring of our souls may the spirit of God abide and bring us together in Christ” – first allow our hearts to be awakened and our souls stirred so that God can abide in us and I pray that we will NOT be bidding farewell to our children at Confirmation.

A FLY ON THE WALL

Ever wished you could be a fly on the wall, so that you could keep watch over your teens’ safety, without intruding into their space or being accused of “stalking” or “cramping their style”?

Although, I would admit to have given my own parents a hard time while growing up in the 80’s – I think parents today are up against a lot more with caring for their children. Aside from the usual hormonal changes contributing to teenage angst and moods, these days we compete against a whole array of social media and the very accessible mobile devices that are seemingly glued to our children’s palms nearly all day and night!

Yes, parents hope to provide the best advice to guide and equip children to cope on their own when they are in the real world. Many a times, children (and adults alike) reveal and express way too much of themselves on social networking, for their own good – becoming vulnerable and falling “prey” to dangers around them. This is a very real concern for parents, especially when such information can get out there just within seconds after “posting” it and for some parents who are sometimes “blocked” from their children’s social network, will then be oblivious to what is being posted or messaged to all their “virtual” friends and strangers alike.

In my youth I frequently found myself telling my mother to be assured that I knew how to stay safe and would remember all that she had taught me. At times, when peeved over her parenting, would ask, “Have more faith in yourself that you’ve taught me well. Don’t you trust your own upbringing of your children?”

But having said that, I recall an incident in the 80’s that could have gone seriously wrong if not for the grace and protection from God. I was on a back-packers holiday to India / Kathmandu with my then spouse-to-be. We needed to change more local currency and asked the nice tuk-tuk driver to help arrange that. He then drove us to a busy marketplace and the two guys shot-off on foot, leaving me alone in the open vehicle in the middle of a dense market crowd. When I had lost sight of them, I began to realise that it was very risky and naive to have done that. Having no means of communication, no mobile phones, not knowing where I was, the worst thoughts crept into my mind. But alas, I was relieved when they both reappeared after about fifteen minutes later.

As parents, we can’t help wanting to protect our children and keeping them always in our sight, but naturally teens will want to start spreading their wings and make it on their own. So perhaps sharing our own “risky” experiences with our children will help them relate better and not seem like we were poking into their affairs. It does also make it more meaningful when we help interpret the realities of dangers to our children and not just dishing out the monotonous TO-DO or NOT-DO List.

Then what is left for us after, is to be diligently praying parents and call upon our God to be that “fly on the wall” watching over our children?

DON'T KEEP MUM ABOUT DAD

Fathers have been putting in the extra hours and effort. The time has come, for the men in our lives and in our children’s lives to step out of the shadows.

Spotting a father in a shopping mall with baby in a carrier, slung over his shoulders or yet another at the wet market picking out fish or meats is becoming somewhat a regular sight here in Singapore. In fact, at pot-luck dinners, it is not surprising to hear husbands sharing recipes and cooking techniques with one another.

Whether by chance, for the fact that more wives are out there in the workforce, or with deliberation it does seem that more dads are getting involved in the family in more ways than one. Perhaps dads are now paying attention to the ever-increasing number of researches that speak of how fathers have a positive influence on the outcomes of their sons and daughters? Researches inform that children learn better, aspire to achieve more, are less likely to pick up adverse behaviour and be more emotionally stable if they have positive experiences of involved dads.

It does seem that the fathers in our children’s lives are listening and have taken a more pro-active role of their fatherhood. These days, children approach both dad and mum for advice on various subjects depending on which parent seemed more specifically informed or more physically involved through the eyes of their children.

Perhaps for fathers, after the heart of God, they do realise the incredible privilege given to them by God, of imitating Him as Father, therefore, willingly accept upon their shoulders to care for their family. In our home, my daughter and I would often quote scripture on her “dada” when he teases her to wits end using the verse written by the apostle Paul to the Ephesians, “And fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Eph. 6:4). But jokes aside, it does seem like quite a tough call to discipline and set boundaries yet at the same time to avoid angering or provoking our children! However, in keeping consistently responsible and accountable for their actions, being firm on other matters with the occasional involvement to create that special bond between father and children, it is possible to succeed and at the same time, enjoy Fatherhood, even if it meant a lot more effort.

Still, even with all these changes, the age-old inaccurate stereotyped view of fathers, though highly incorrect these days, still exists – that of a breadwinner and that children still go to mum, not dad, for everything else that they need. Admittedly, this impasse is only just beginning to see a break-through as we create more awareness to realise that “to father” also includes some values that comes with “to mother”.  

So to all dads out there, who do both fathering and mothering of your children, take heart, we are not keeping mum about you. Take a bow as we applaud you for your good work - Happy Fathers’ Day!

EASTER HOPE

            

           Each year we start out Lent with the best of intentions and with much enthusiasm to accomplish a list of things to do or not do, building up to a great Easter celebration. In reality, not everything we plan to do actually gets done or survives the six weeks of Lent. Some things take a few years of false starts before gaining the momentum to last the whole six weeks.

         Well, don’t fret too much over it, because the good thing about Lent is that you get a chance to try it all over again every year. And the key is to keep trying Lent after Lent, until you find what is realistic and works well with you and your family or each member of the family. Even Peter, Jesus’ most devoted disciple got it wrong, when he denied Jesus three times but yet after his repentance, went on to fulfill Jesus’ promise to the people and to build-up His church. That is the beauty of the love and grace of our God, he is ever-forgiving and accepts us coming back to do it better, even if it is, a little at a time.

              When your teen comes to you and tells you with a sense of regret for not doing quite enough for Lent, it is a response moving in the right direction and that next Lent there will be an inner self-desire to do better. It is a little tricky working around the schedules of each person in the family, to find a good time when everyone is available in mind and spirit to gather for nightly prayers and reflections. What matters most is that we have processed the reasons for doing what we want to do at Lent and with visible reminders at home, the family can appreciate that we have been given this “gift” of time at Lent, for us to take stock and do better. If we view Lent as a time of suffering or a time that we grudgingly do our penance and prayer, then when Easter comes around, we will go right back to our old ways without realizing why we made a Lenten journey in the first place.

            But let’s not stop at Lent, even if we did not quite succeed in doing everything we planned, some things or habits which we have developed during Lent, like attending daily Mass, praying the Rosary, and doing away with snacking between meals, could be something we would want to keep through the rest of the year.

            So, with whatever was done or not done at Lent, don’t be disheartened from celebrating the whole reason for Easter – Jesus who died for our sins resurrected from the dead so that we too may have Eternal Life in him - Jesus’ Resurrection is Good News and we become people of great hope. A people gifted with Easter Hope that things can only get better! Alleluia!

THE LAMB IN ME

            During the season of Lent, one word that we never hear enough of or are constantly reminded of is, “Sacrifice” – to give-up, to forgo, to abstain or to do for others and so forth. And with that, the image of a lamb comes quickly to mind - more specifically a lamb being prepared for slaughter – the lamb being a symbol or image closely associated with sacrifice.

            In scripture, the title ‘Lamb of God’ appears in the Gospel of John, with the proclamation by John the Baptist saying, "Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world" (John 1:29) when he sees Jesus approaching him, a day after he had baptized Jesus.

            Although ‘Lamb of God’ refers to Jesus in his role of the perfect sacrificial offering and who died for the sins of others, yet, Jesus is our shepherd too: “I am the good shepherd; I know my own and my own knows me” (John 10:14)

            If you think about it, as parents, we are often required to be both shepherd and lamb to our children. Indeed, because we love our children, we are responsible for guiding, caring and protecting them as shepherds. Yet, more than readily we also become lambs, making many sacrifices for them, mainly with our time and money, and at times, guilty of even becoming over-indulgent. But the truth remains that because we love our children, parenting becomes self-giving, sacrificing of self for our children.

            On the flipside, as adults, we might look at how we should also become both shepherd and lamb to our elderly parents. In this fast-paced world, have we been much support and help to ease them into the age of technology found in the day to day? Have we demonstrated patience with them? Are we honestly approaching them with the same self-giving attitude and sacrifice as we do for our children? Or have we been less patient and less forgiving with them than we have been with our own children?

            Just as God, our Father loves us and because of his great love for us, sacrificed his only son for us – this is indeed the greatest of all love, because true love requires sacrifice.  

            Perhaps reflecting that as Jesus, was given up, sacrificed, for us in the Eucharist, may we partake of this Lamb of God and learn to be more giving, more ‘Lamb’ than ‘Lion’ to our elders this Lent.