DON'T KEEP MUM ABOUT DAD

Fathers have been putting in the extra hours and effort. The time has come, for the men in our lives and in our children’s lives to step out of the shadows.

Spotting a father in a shopping mall with baby in a carrier, slung over his shoulders or yet another at the wet market picking out fish or meats is becoming somewhat a regular sight here in Singapore. In fact, at pot-luck dinners, it is not surprising to hear husbands sharing recipes and cooking techniques with one another.

Whether by chance, for the fact that more wives are out there in the workforce, or with deliberation it does seem that more dads are getting involved in the family in more ways than one. Perhaps dads are now paying attention to the ever-increasing number of researches that speak of how fathers have a positive influence on the outcomes of their sons and daughters? Researches inform that children learn better, aspire to achieve more, are less likely to pick up adverse behaviour and be more emotionally stable if they have positive experiences of involved dads.

It does seem that the fathers in our children’s lives are listening and have taken a more pro-active role of their fatherhood. These days, children approach both dad and mum for advice on various subjects depending on which parent seemed more specifically informed or more physically involved through the eyes of their children.

Perhaps for fathers, after the heart of God, they do realise the incredible privilege given to them by God, of imitating Him as Father, therefore, willingly accept upon their shoulders to care for their family. In our home, my daughter and I would often quote scripture on her “dada” when he teases her to wits end using the verse written by the apostle Paul to the Ephesians, “And fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Eph. 6:4). But jokes aside, it does seem like quite a tough call to discipline and set boundaries yet at the same time to avoid angering or provoking our children! However, in keeping consistently responsible and accountable for their actions, being firm on other matters with the occasional involvement to create that special bond between father and children, it is possible to succeed and at the same time, enjoy Fatherhood, even if it meant a lot more effort.

Still, even with all these changes, the age-old inaccurate stereotyped view of fathers, though highly incorrect these days, still exists – that of a breadwinner and that children still go to mum, not dad, for everything else that they need. Admittedly, this impasse is only just beginning to see a break-through as we create more awareness to realise that “to father” also includes some values that comes with “to mother”.  

So to all dads out there, who do both fathering and mothering of your children, take heart, we are not keeping mum about you. Take a bow as we applaud you for your good work - Happy Fathers’ Day!