AWAKENED AND STIRRED

A sad silence descended over the room, as Archbishop William Goh announced that at Confirmation Masses, he feels it is not a time for celebration but a time to bid farewell. Why? Because from that day forth, the church will say goodbye to 80% of her Confirmants since only about 20% will return as active church members. 

Deeply saddened and concerned by what Archbishop Goh said to a group of 200 Catechists at the recent launch of the Catechetical Year 2014, I felt the need to share this with fellow parents of our parish. Perhaps this message is somewhat timely for me, as I will be journeying with my own daughter who will be receiving her Confirmation this May.

I found myself drawn close to tears as he delivered those heart-wrenching lines and till today, struggle at these words when I share them in urgency with parents I meet in ministry and at the parish that was so clearly an outcry for help. Yes, help not for Archbishop Goh or for the Church, but for our children - your children.

Addressing the group of Catechists, Archbishop Goh continued to express what changes were needed within ourselves as Catechists and to take it seriously, even changes to be made in the Diocese and how critical our role as Christian examples are for the children in order to help deepen their relationship with God. Seated amongst these Catechists, there must have been many others, much like myself, called to be Catechists as well as given the grace of God to be parents. I felt a deep stirring in my soul and a sense of guilt as I heard the Catechists being given a strong mandate to check on one’s own prayer life and spiritual well-being for the sake of our children - my child.

It has been for me a privilege to be both a parent and Catechist, but to be honest every parent can share in this privilege, whether we are actively a volunteer Catechist or not, being a parent by vocation already makes us one. We are the first Catechist and the best Christian example that our children follow from birth. Think about it, if Catechists, who spend one hour or so a week with our children have been given this awakening, how much more we as parents should take heed and partner with the church in seeking out the God experience that our own child or youth will look for at different stages of their life.

Clearly this message is directed to us as parent catechists as well. We have a mission as parents – play it out well. If we want our children to live a God-centered life, we need to find out if we ourselves have shown them examples of how to live a God-centered life? Have we ourselves allowed God into the family daily or only once a week? 

Much like the lyrics to the hymn, “By the waking of our hearts by the stirring of our souls may the spirit of God abide and bring us together in Christ” – first allow our hearts to be awakened and our souls stirred so that God can abide in us and I pray that we will NOT be bidding farewell to our children at Confirmation.

EASTER HOPE

            

           Each year we start out Lent with the best of intentions and with much enthusiasm to accomplish a list of things to do or not do, building up to a great Easter celebration. In reality, not everything we plan to do actually gets done or survives the six weeks of Lent. Some things take a few years of false starts before gaining the momentum to last the whole six weeks.

         Well, don’t fret too much over it, because the good thing about Lent is that you get a chance to try it all over again every year. And the key is to keep trying Lent after Lent, until you find what is realistic and works well with you and your family or each member of the family. Even Peter, Jesus’ most devoted disciple got it wrong, when he denied Jesus three times but yet after his repentance, went on to fulfill Jesus’ promise to the people and to build-up His church. That is the beauty of the love and grace of our God, he is ever-forgiving and accepts us coming back to do it better, even if it is, a little at a time.

              When your teen comes to you and tells you with a sense of regret for not doing quite enough for Lent, it is a response moving in the right direction and that next Lent there will be an inner self-desire to do better. It is a little tricky working around the schedules of each person in the family, to find a good time when everyone is available in mind and spirit to gather for nightly prayers and reflections. What matters most is that we have processed the reasons for doing what we want to do at Lent and with visible reminders at home, the family can appreciate that we have been given this “gift” of time at Lent, for us to take stock and do better. If we view Lent as a time of suffering or a time that we grudgingly do our penance and prayer, then when Easter comes around, we will go right back to our old ways without realizing why we made a Lenten journey in the first place.

            But let’s not stop at Lent, even if we did not quite succeed in doing everything we planned, some things or habits which we have developed during Lent, like attending daily Mass, praying the Rosary, and doing away with snacking between meals, could be something we would want to keep through the rest of the year.

            So, with whatever was done or not done at Lent, don’t be disheartened from celebrating the whole reason for Easter – Jesus who died for our sins resurrected from the dead so that we too may have Eternal Life in him - Jesus’ Resurrection is Good News and we become people of great hope. A people gifted with Easter Hope that things can only get better! Alleluia!

WHY ARE WE CATHOLIC?

So here’s the scene, nearly ten years ago - my five year-old child poses a question to me, asking, “Mommy, why are we Catholic? Why can’t we be Christian and go to Ji-E’s (2^nd Aunt) Church?”

Perhaps some of you have had a similar experience? How did you address your child? Did you dodge the question with your tried and tested response of “Mommy’s busy, go ask your Daddy?”

Neither was this appropriate, to buy more time, and bank on using those three magic words, “I don’t know”.

And so, stumped with that very pure and honest question, I searched in all of the three seconds I had, to reach out to the Holy Spirit for something to say. I wanted to adopt an open approach to my child’s spirituality and did not want to destroy her innocence and her natural curiosity of knowing God. Above all, I did not want to form strong opinions against others’ worship prematurely for a young child – after all, God is God, wherever He may be and God is Love.

To my relief, what came out was most definitely not of my own wisdom. Whatever the Holy Spirit provided me that very instant, in response to that tiny frame of a darling five year-old then, it seemed to have completely satisfied her searching heart. I expressed that together with her daddy, on our wedding day, we made a promise to God that we will bring up our children in the Catholic Church. And so I asked her if she would agree to allow us to, at least, fulfill our promise and then when she was all grown up and she still wanted to go to Ji-E’s church, we would be open to that - She agreed.

Now that did not mean that I had managed to push off the issue and neither did it mean that if I prayed hard enough, perhaps I would not need to revisit this till her teens or later, or better yet, that she might completely forget and not bring it up ever again. Instead, it only made me realise that what really happened then, was the beginning of a huge job ahead of me. Now I had been tasked to ensure she had the opportunity to completely experience a Catholic childhood and to got to know God in this environment whilst “He” will do the rest to reach into her heart - now, how sneaky was that, Holy Spirit!

So clearly, it was to be our duty, as parents, to provide her with a Catholic experience – it meant that we had to work at it for sure, as we could not deprive her of the richness in the traditions of a Catholic experience, if she was to experience any better or worse from it. We knew not all the answers, but without a doubt, we have since enriched our lives and are continuing to enrich our lives growing in faith together as a family. After all, just as, in the New Testament, Jesus reminded us all that unless we become as little children, we cannot enter the kingdom of Heaven.

In no way would I claim that my reply to my daughter was the right or best way, but it was one way that got me “hooked” on faith, and so perhaps at the very least, it must have been the Holy Spirit way!

A CRY FROM WITHIN

A recent experience has left me feeling affirmed that God knows exactly what we need at every moment of our lives. How it had been shown so clearly to me that the promise of God is in the very heartbeat of our lives. If we keep closely in touch with the spirit of God and be aware of his presence, knowing that He will take care of all areas of our lives, we are able to lead a calmer, less anxious life.

Some weeks back my daughter needed to go for a fairly major dental surgery to have six teeth out at one go and had to be administered general anaesthesia for that. To add to my concerns over GA, I was told that there were 2 teeth that were embedded and their roots were very close to the nerves which would pose some risks during the procedure. At that point of time, you could just imagine how daunting it was for me and I was paranoid with a capital ‘P’!

The night before the procedure, I was at my wits’ end, not knowing how else to pray, what else to say, as I had made every prayer petition I could think of during the weeks before - asking that God guided the hand of the surgeon, anaesthetist, and everyone else involved. I had texted a few close friends to lift us up in prayer in search for comfort in them.  When there seemed nothing else I could do, amid incessant ‘mind chatter’, I decided perhaps I should turn to reading something – the Bible, an online commentary, a book, whatever – to get my mind off it.

Now there were some spiritual books that had arrived through mail order just days ago, and I picked one up looking for some peace of mind. In “Secrets of the Vine” by Bruce Wilkinson, to my amazement, the first words that I read, though first seemed unlikely, yet brought me to the peace I was looking for. I clearly saw God’s promise in reading: “Abundance – You’ll be surprised to discover how much God wants abundance for you. And you’ll be relieved to know that you never need to misread His ways in your life again.”

How amazing that I should immediately find my peace in those words, yet, I thought I should be looking for words like ‘peace’, ‘be not afraid’, ‘find comfort’ or ‘it’s the right thing to do’.  Yet, “Abundance – … God wants abundance for you”, was all that I needed! He spoke and I understood. I felt a great burden lifted and just knew God has this promise for me, that everything would be alright and I will be blessed with life in abundance of all things from God. And all that comes from God is good. God had answered my cry, the prayer from deep within my heart have been answered. Truly amazing experience!

A day after the operation, I was looking to reflect on some materials for Catechism and chanced upon a video-blog by Terry Modica, writer & web-master of Good News Ministries’ website. She shared this quote from St. Clement of Alexandria, “Prayer is a conversation with God. Even if we whisper, even if we do not open our mouth, a cry rises within us. And God never fails to hear this inner conversation.” I simply said, “AMEN!!”

IN THE EYES OF A CHILD

Once again, Corrinne May puts together a beautiful repertoire of songs, each with such meaningful lyrics, in her latest album, Crooked Lines. Lyrics and tunes inspired by people and events surrounding her life, streams from her heart and so, mother to young Claire, sings, “It’s in the eyes of a child…”

Since that concert evening at our church, I have not quite forgotten that phrase from her song entitled, “Beautiful Life”.  I am sure as parents ourselves, not unlike Corrinne May, we see every hope and every reason in our children’s eyes, making sacrifices at times, to provide and see to their needs. Yet, we know that each child is different and so we are often guided by what we see in our children’s responses – their sadness, their joy, what motivates them; their questioning eyes looking for answers and finally finding comfort and security in us or in our support.

Often as parents, we have the privilege to discover and experience together with our children, if only we allow ourselves the time, to look through the eyes of our child! Discovering what those young eyes see and what impacts them when seen for the first time? Much like any other experiences, we often wonder how we can journey with our children to give them a faith experience that would etch into their lives to draw upon it in their later years.

In Gretchen Wolff Pritchard’s book entitled “Offering the Gospel to Children” (Cowley Publications, 1992), she strongly encourages to teach children our faith language — authentic symbols, images, stories, and songs — in their daily lives so that church and Christian faith are as natural a part of their life as teddy bears and tricycles and friends and grocery stores and playgrounds. And so I wondered, what about the more current digital and mobile distractions so accessible and available to our young these days? What good could possibly come out of these?

Well, incidentally, I need not wonder much longer. Just last week, a co-catechist, shared an amazing experience of her 12-year-old son, who recently discovered the iMissal^TM (Catholic App and Missal available on mobile devices) on her iPad. That Sunday evening, Nigel insisted that the whole family stayed up to play “Mass” with him as “Celebrant” while he diligently read through the entire Sunday Missal to the family, who in turn had to make their responses as “Congregation”. How precious that moment must have been for Nigel as he engulfed himself in performing the prayers and rituals of the beauty and power of the Eucharist. As for the family - perhaps because it was past ten o’clock - it may have felt like it was the longest hour they had endured. But for mom, she still managed a smile, for it was indeed the most amazing and beautiful sight before her. What any parent wouldn’t give to be there that night!

And so, in unison with Corrinne May, we couldn’t agree more, “Smile, it’s a beautiful life.”