RICH WOUNDS

Last year, I attended a Catechists’ Recollection organized by the Singapore Pastoral Institute. A program facilitated by Joanna Tan of Heartspace together with the Catechetical Director, Fr Erbin Fernandez.

However, what intrigued me most when I first came across the invitation to the session was in fact the title of the session, “Wounded by Beauty”. Although it had been over a year since then, but still, I could not forget how those words made me wonder… How odd, I remembered thinking to myself… How could beauty, something so good, actually cause any infliction, causing one to be wounded?

At first I was prompted to look up the definition to the word, ‘Wound’ – to see if there was, in fact, a positive aspect to the word? I mean, take the adverb “awfully” for example - we all know, it could be used in an awfully good way or an awfully bad way, right? Well, the search came up zilch and instead, it repeatedly states as, “an injury especially one in which the skin or another external surface is torn, pierced, cut, or otherwise broken; an injury to the feelings”.

This intriguing thought reminded me of a time, when I was struggling with a response to my daughter, aged ten then, over a question about faith. I remember wishing I had been more articulate and well-expressed in my reply to her question. But perhaps thinking back, I needed it more for myself to convince myself and believe in what I was saying to her.

I suppose, in the real sense, we were not that much different from the next family, who may have the usual issues of breakdown within the family and relatives with ill-health, but for a young child, it may have been too overwhelming and so questioned the faith asking, “why people who believe in God has so many problems, yet those like my friends in school, who don’t go to church or believe in God seems to have no problems at all?” I guess it was a sensible question and I have little doubt that many faithful adults have had this cross their minds too. Why doesn’t believing in God and doing all that we are expected to do as faithful followers shield us completely from all things bad, if God is good?

I remember explaining to her then, that with God’s help, we can handle the disappointments as they come up in life, a little at a time as we begin to grow up. Simply put, I told her that it was like placing our experiences into a little bank account, to strengthen ourselves – so we can draw on it when we face tougher and bigger problems in life as we grow older. And so it was not all bad but a good thing as there is value in having experienced problems. I guess she 'kinda got it' and did not persist.

As for me, I guess it took me a whole lot longer to be convinced of what it really meant to be hurting - as it was only after coming out of the retreat, that I am convinced of what I had said to my daughter all those years ago, that indeed there is much richness in being wounded. There is true beauty in being wounded – because it is only when we have been wounded, then, and only then, will we know how good it feels to be healed!