Last year, I
attended a Catechists’ Recollection organized by the Singapore Pastoral
Institute. A program facilitated by Joanna Tan of Heartspace together with the Catechetical Director, Fr Erbin
Fernandez.
However, what intrigued me most when
I first came across the invitation to the session was in fact the title of the
session, “Wounded by Beauty”. Although it had been over a year since then, but
still, I could not forget how those words made me wonder… How odd, I remembered
thinking to myself… How could beauty, something so good, actually cause any
infliction, causing one to be wounded?
At first I
was prompted to look up the definition to the word, ‘Wound’ – to see if there
was, in fact, a positive aspect to the word? I mean, take the adverb “awfully”
for example - we all know, it could be used in an awfully good way or an awfully
bad way, right? Well, the search came up zilch and instead, it repeatedly
states as, “an injury especially one in which the skin or another external
surface is torn, pierced, cut, or otherwise broken; an injury to the feelings”.
This
intriguing thought reminded me of a time, when I was struggling with a response
to my daughter, aged ten then, over a question about faith. I remember wishing I
had been more articulate and well-expressed in my reply to her question. But
perhaps thinking back, I needed it more for myself to convince myself and
believe in what I was saying to her.
I suppose, in
the real sense, we were not that much different from the next family, who may have
the usual issues of breakdown within the family and relatives with ill-health,
but for a young child, it may have been too overwhelming and so questioned the
faith asking, “why people who believe in God has so many problems, yet those
like my friends in school, who don’t go to church or believe in God seems to
have no problems at all?” I guess it was a sensible question and I have little
doubt that many faithful adults have had this cross their minds too. Why
doesn’t believing in God and doing all that we are expected to do as faithful
followers shield us completely from all things bad, if God is good?
I remember
explaining to her then, that with God’s help, we can handle the disappointments
as they come up in life, a little at a time as we begin to grow up. Simply put, I told her that it
was like placing our experiences into a little bank account, to strengthen
ourselves – so we can draw on it when we face tougher and bigger problems in
life as we grow older. And so it was not all bad but a good thing as there is value
in having experienced problems. I guess she 'kinda got it' and did not persist.
As for me, I guess it took me a whole lot longer to be convinced of what it really meant to be hurting - as it was only after coming out of the retreat, that I am convinced of what I had said to my daughter all those years ago, that indeed there is much richness in being wounded. There is true beauty in being wounded – because it is only when we have been wounded,
then, and only then, will we know how good it
feels to be healed!
